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FOR SOCIAL ENTREPRENEURS IN SCOTLAND |
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19 December, 2008 From time to time I feel the need to be alone – to just hunker down in my foxhole. It’s not like depression – not like being miserable – it’s more a feeling of being over stimulated. So I’ve learned how to shut the shop – put up a sign – ‘‘gone fishing.’’ Mentally and physically I just flop – bed, track suit, books, films, catnaps – till I`m detached – idle – unwashed. After 3 days I`m usually ready to open the shop again. Get back from London last Wednesday, tired with a heavy cold – sounds worse than I feel, but Thursday, Friday and Saturday I`m in `flop` mode. By Saturday afternoon, I`m chilled – listening to the Hibs game in bed when someone chaps my door – who the hell’s that? It’s Joe the pharmacist with my prescription: “You sounded bad on the phone, Mr Demarco – didn’t come for your stuff – thought I’d check you’re ok”. “That’s very kind, Joe – please come in”. My front room looks like a bomb site – dishes, clothes, books, papers, detritus. Joe looks concerned – asks some OAP type questions, as if to gauge my state of mind, to check if I`m ‘‘coping’’ – I find this hilarious. I smile – apologise for the state of the room – explain that I enjoy living alone – heat and feed myself well – but sometimes don’t bother with housework…” and if you’ll risk the unsanitary conditions I’ll make us a cup of tea”. He smiles and sits down. When he leaves, I start clearing up. Hibs won 2-0. - Read full bulletin 12 December, 2008 Tuesday and Wednesday in London – B&B at the Tavistock Hotel, £64 – nothing fancy but good enough. Tuesday morning goes well – 12 of us – Third Sector leaders and civil servants. Having read all the papers, I speak well. Leaving, a man I admire tells me I have an unusual grasp of the `big picture`: not sure what he means but makes me feel good. On impulse I purchase an expensive hat – then lunch in a posh restaurant – steak and kidney pudding and mash – superb. My reflection in window pleases me. Russell Square underground station uses lifts to take passengers to street level – but with only one working, a crush is developing. Some folk are opting for the spiral staircase (175 steps). Decide that I can handle it – big mistake! After the 4th pause, I’m stuck – pounding heart – chest pain – head spinning. Cling to banister as folk file past – panic – is this a stroke? Slowly get a grip – edge upwards. As I leave the station my legs are unsteady – sit at a pavement cafe to gather my wits. This morning I was a sage and a philosopher – now in survival mode – no `big picture` - only here and now – our fragile and precarious lives. A Polish man wearing a carpenter’s apron asks if I’m okay. He is very kind. My reflection in hotel door is not so jaunty – go up for a kip. - Read full bulletin 05 December, 2008 If you search “Muhammad Yunus” on the Senscot website, it comes up with 121 links – I’ve long been a disciple of the world’s leading social entrepreneur – without ever seeing him. Going to his talk at Glasgow Caledonian University on Monday, I wondered how I`d feel if he turned out to be pretentious – a phony. But I needn’t have worried – he’s the real thing. Yunus is quite small in stature – born in 1940 (like me) – round, cheerful, peter pan face – kind eyes - the dress of his homeland, Bangladesh. He has the high intelligence which says things simply – deep felt beliefs, spoken quietly – with humour, and an attractive, almost spiritual, humility. He said nothing on Monday which I had not previously read in his published talks – yet he made it fresh and compelling. It’s not his vision for a new global economic infrastructure that I’m left with. Or even the amazing achievements of the Grameen Bank and his other social enterprises. It’s his burning love for the poor – and his understanding of how change happens – person to person – one at a time – slowly, patiently. His simple stories, affirming the dignity and courage of the most powerless women – made me cry. There is no doubt that Yunus is an extraordinary leader – he tells his workers, “you must put a dream in people’s hearts” and he himself has this gift. His dream is to rid the world of poverty – he made me feel – “Yes we can”. - Read full bulletin 28 November, 2008 I sometimes toy with the idea of writing my autobiography – a project for retirement – a holding to account – but I don’t think it will happen. My source material (early diaries) annoys me – some other bloke, recording stuff which he’d be better forgetting. My hero, Raymond Carver said, ‘‘It’s strange – you never start out in life with the intention of becoming a bankrupt or an alcoholic – or a liar, a cheat and a thief – but I’ve been all of these things!’’ Well, I have too - sifting through it all just makes me depressed and ashamed – better to let it go – concentrate on the present – preparing for new adventures. Monday was dark and stormy – realise that I enjoy this cottage as much in winter as other seasons. Trees shaking violently – rain driving against the windows – wind howling in the lum making the fire roar. Awesome! Then Tuesday – cold clear skies – perfect calm – low bright sunlight. Trudge down through the woods – along the seashore – paddling in my wellies. Suddenly get one of those flights of optimism: ‘‘And all will be well, and all manner of things will be well.’’ Where do we find such moments – or maybe they find us? When I was drinking I could sometimes summon great optimism – but, hey, no complaints, I’m grateful for my sober life – less ups and downs – being me is mostly ok. The writer Isak Dinesen (Out of Africa) said that she wrote a little every day, without hope and without despair. That sounds sad. - Read full bulletin 21 November, 2008 Regular readers will know that I’m a progressive, leftie sort of bloke, who hates the neo-liberal doctrine and the damage it inflicts on society. I dream of a gentler world – free of extremes of wealth or poverty – where local democracy and social capital protect and nourish community life. Like many lefties, I’m uneasy with the word `evil` - the way it’s bandied about. Maybe it’s the `Lucifer` connection – but it makes me squirm. Many people are suspicious of progressives, because of our `situational` view of evil. They say that blaming parenting, or poverty, or whatever, for outrageous behaviour, lets the `bad guys` off the hook. But it’s the opposite view of many on the right – that evil lies with certain individuals – that lets most of humanity off the hook. The truth is that we all have the capacity to become brutal – it’s the progressives who are the hard realists on this one – who know that only dispersed power – democracy – protects us from the beast. Progressives believe that all of us on our wee planet are in it together – need to look after each other. Each day this week I’ve made myself think of that wee boy in London who was battered to death. I think of him – 18 months old, being in the dark, terrified – till I feel rage and shame. Whether deficient, depraved or deranged that child’s carers did terrible things and it’s fitting that they should be held to account. Those of us who struggle with the concept of evil can’t just go quiet when the issue arises; we need to offer an effective understanding of why there is so much brutality in this world – and how to contain it. - Read full bulletin See all previous bulletin intros here |
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54 Manor Place, Edinburgh EH3 7EH Tel: +44(0)131 220 4104 Fax:+44 (0)131 539 9999 E-mail: mail@senscot.net Registered in Scotland. Company Registration No. 278156. Scottish Charity No. SC 029210 |
